A day in the desert

The desert. We’ve already talked about my not-so-smart, naïve visions of what desert life looks like so I obviously needed to see as much as I could for myself. I wandered around the tiny, strange, EMPTY town of Mut (it was Friday so EVERYTHING was closed) and definitely decided it was simply a stopping point; nothing to do, see, or really visit here. Lovely people, so friendly as they obviously don’t see many visitors, but yeah, really not much else to say. My new best friend, the hotel manager, was going to set me up for a desert destination holiday, but first I had to bus it through the White Desert and Black Desert to get to the guide’s starting point. But wait, I want visit these deserts. Yes, yes, you will be coming back down to them. Well that just doesn’t make sense, why would I drive all the way up there just to drive all the way back down? You want desert trip? *sigh* yes, yes, I want desert trip.

A nice day had wandering around and even though I had another 6 hour bus trip ahead of me, I was ready to go. Poor Mr. Manager has been forced to marry a girl that is 10 years younger than him, that he doesn’t love, that he has had two children with, and he is thoroughly miserable. Can I please tell you that this isn’t the first time that I’ve had an “I’m unhappy in my marriage” conversation with a man over here. I must have “sucker ” or something written on my forehead. While I listen to their sob stories and nod or tsk tsk appropriately here and there, believe me, I’ve had to try hard just to show a little sympathy. In a country where women continue to be second class citizens, required to be covered when leaving the house, and are obviously limited in their rights, I have very little sympathy for any man whining to me about their sad state of affairs at home. You want 8 babies but she only wants 2? Oh, POOR YOU! You have to work long hours because she wants a place separate from your parents to live in? SUCH A SHAME! She gets upset when you sleep at work or choose not to come home for long periods of time? NO S**T – THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE YOU’RE CREEPING ON TOURISTS! No sympathy here folks. Sorry about your luck. Nice man, very nice man who took very good care of me, but yeah, epic fail on that bonding point of conversation.

Up and out at 6am to head to Bahariya, another oasis town. Oh! Forgot to tell you that the whole way to Mut and carried on into Bahariya, we pass through military check point after military check point. Long, empty desert highways… checkpoint. Rinse and repeat. No one will give me a straight answer as to why, very similar to my trip down to Abu Simbel, but the best I can figure is that in the areas near bordering countries, Sudan, Libya, Chad, it continues to be a bit of the old wild, wild west. Smugglers, highway robberies, kidnappings, wide-open lawlessness desert so legitimate threat or not, they keep a good eye on the foreigners travelling through here – for OUR safety. At each check point, I would hear blah, blah, blah, Canadian. More or less, all locals, one Canadian on board. Nobody bothered to look for me, check my id, write anything down, or any recognition of the sort, but I guess it helps everyone feel that things are a little more under control. And when your presence is being announced upon arrival, yeah, you can’t help but feel a little special.

Was picked up in this even smaller more basic oasis town by the son of the owner of my new home. Zero details of what I have in store for my desert destination but later, later. Get settled in and he offers to take me Land Cruising through some local dunes, for FREE! Ummm… yes please! My current wish list now includes a Land Cruiser. I’ve seen them in action, been cruising in a few, but this was my first ripping around dunes, vertical inclines, up and across the desert, drive-the-snot-out-of-it, let’s-see-if-we-can-flip-it experience I’ve had. SO much fun! Parked on the top of a sand dune so I could get out and play in the sand for a bit, blah, blah, blah, insert typical creepy Egyptian man story here, and karmic payback for his ick factor towards me was that we got stuck in the deep, soft sand after his advances were refused and it was time to leave. I was chuckling to myself sitting pretty in the passenger seat while he was furiously digging like a dog for a lost bone in the hot, tire-trapping sand. Awww, poor you. Thanks for the ride, good chance I won’t be seeing you later.

An overlander trip had stopped to camp at the place I was staying so had some lovely company for the night but still no plans about the desert. Tomorrow, people will arrive to join you tomorrow and we go in the afternoon. So essentially a cash grab to get me up there for the night. Whatever. Tomorrow comes and I wander and hang out and finally a manager shows up, fairly disinterested in me, and quotes me an astronomical price for a trip that will last less than 24hrs. I sat there blinking, blinking, blinking. Pardon? He continues on with several other conversations and I thank him for his time but tell him I won’t be able to afford the trip, that it is much shorter than I had been told, and that I was very disappointed. He simply couldn’t care less.

I head back to my room and plop myself down on the bed. In my head I’m seeing the 20+ hrs I had just travelled to get there, reminding myself that I’ll most likely never be back here and that it shouldn’t be about the money, it’s about the experience, cursing the fact that this is one of those things that I just can’t go at alone, and with a frustrated sigh, I go find the jerkface who is about to rip me off. I get him to reduce the price ever so little and then pack up my stuff to await my new desert traveling partners. Two were to be arriving from Cairo any minute now.

Two didn’t arrive, three did. A mom, dad, and 5 year old screaming banshee from India. The little princess was dressed head to toe in ribbons and lace, a frilly dress, and sparkly shoes. Mom and dad looked a little less done up but not necessarily ready for camping in the desert. I tried all of my “let’s chat!” charm and got pretty much nowhere. A nice enough family all of whom suffered slightly in the socializing with strangers department. THANKFULLY our guide was a happy, chatty, excited young man who loved what he did, loved the desert, was SUPREMELY sarcastic. I had a friend for the journey. Let’s get going!

Drive, stop and look, drive, stop and look. The sandy brown earth and mountains covered with a layer of spewed black volcanic rock. Welcome to the Black Desert. Very neat to see some of the changing landscape but after a few kilometers of this… *yawn*. So we drive, up and over a bit of a mountain range, and the scenery starts to change a little more. We’ve left the perimeters of the Black Desert and are now entering the National Park of the White Desert. THIS I liked.

Sandy bottom with massive white boulders randomly blooming like mushrooms on a forest floor. In sections, the brown sand is suddenly a river of clean, white snow. It’s beautiful. My pictures on facebook do it NO justice. As far as the eye can see, crops of brilliant white boulders carved out by an ancient, long gone ocean. Yeah, let’s sleep here.

As we set up camp, the guide and I were doing our best to hold each other’s patience together as the screaming banshee was evoking images of tied and gagged left on a rock in the middle of nowhere. At the top of her lungs… mum-EEEEE! Mum-EEEEE!! Mum-EEEEE!! Pa-PAAAA!! Pa-PAAAA!! Pa-PAAAA!! Family Guy reference where Stewie harasses Lois for a solid 5 to mins of “mama! Mama! Lois! Mommy!, etc”, multiply that by like a thousand, amplify it by a million, and take out the humor, that was our soundtrack. Her parents would ignore her or continue on with their conversations. We attempted to shush her, no success. I really, really, REALLY wanted to shake her and her parents. Desert: quiet, isolated, still. Nope. Spoiled, indulged screaming banshee was going to rule the trip. Frick.

An incredibly yummy camp stove dinner was made and conversations were attempted in between the full blown stomp her feet and scream at the top of her lungs temper tantrums and demands for this and that. Again, parents did nothing or sat by and laughed. It was ridiculously frustrating. Managed to enjoy the scenery amidst the howling Indian Princess as the sun set and the smells of fragrant food filled the air. Enter desert fox.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I want a desert fox! These cat-sized, light coloured, big-eared, bushy-tailed, curious and hungry critters soon surrounded our camp, obviously used to the thousands of people who stake out the sands for a bit of respite from the hustle and bustle of the big Egyptian cities. Bold, brave, and oh so cute, they’d lie in wait for scraps and scamper off with whatever treasure they could find before sniffing their way back for more. Up close, as any habituated animal will be, but often scurrying away at the screams and chucking of random things originated from the howling child. Seriously, not happy with you.

Stomachs full, dark skies, shining stars, and I’m encouraging a long overdue bedtime for the tantrum-ing tot while guide extraordinaire is setting up a campfire. *sigh* THIS is what I came for. The grownups (again, YES! I’m included in this group!) sit around the fire keeping our fingers crossed that the she-devil will sleep. Eventually mom goes to lay with her and there is brief, beautiful silence. Secret smiles exchanged between guide and me… welcome to the desert.

And yep, it’s COLD! Luckily I was a little better prepared than I would have been thanks to my night out on the felucca but wow, that fire was a saving grace for me. I am a BABY when it comes to the cold now. Africa has ruined me for all others! Lots of chat, tea, and shisha, then all are ready for sleep. A shelter of mats and blankets had been set up alongside the Land Cruiser, I however, made my bed beside the fire. One, the further away from the howling hyena, the better, and two, wide open night under the stars beside a fire… could you ask for more? Wow.

Cozy and snuggled under wool blankets and campfire smoke, I was a happy girl. Not too much sleep to be had as OF COURSE the shrieking she-devil couldn’t possibly sleep through the night and I was considering ways to piece her off to the desert foxes but whatever. Warm body, ice cold nose in the clean, fresh air… *sigh* fabulous.

Thankfully I woke before the yelling yeti did so when she started carrying on while her parents continued to sleep, I was able to dig myself out of my mountain of blankets and wander off into the maze of stone statues. I sing-songed voiced my disapproval of her attempts to follow me and got lost on my own for a while. Chilly early morning, rising sun, middle of nowhere desert. Very, very cool. Got back to camp and could see the frustration on dear guide’s face as I could hear her screaming no matter how far I wandered. Quick pack up and we were off. A knowing glance as I was invited back by the guide to stay with his family and visit the desert “properly” the next time. Sad to say goodbye to such a lovely place. Would do it again in a heartbeat. Minus the child, of course.

All of us on the afternoon bus back to Cairo, child slept a good chunk of the way thank every god in heaven. Bid them a quick goodbye and made my getaway. Was considering heading straight back down to the beautiful white sands, but on to the sea, on to the sea, diving to do, things to see!