Woke to a too-many-rums-the-night-before headache and thankful that I had the regular traveling OCD state of mind to have had all the bags packed and ready to go the night before. Bumbled my way through the last of the cold showers in a sewer smell bathroom with various sized creatures perched, lodged, or cowering on every ledge and in every corner. Shook my head and smiled just a little bit at the recognition that there has been an enormous and angry looking spider sitting ready to attack in a nest like web directly over the shower head for the past several days and I have carried on without the slightest hing of panic induced hysteria. Progress folks, progress. I was ridiculously happy to see the sun turning the dark sky from night to bright, clear blue as the rains from the day before would have made travel miserable, if not impossible. All hopeful signs that this was going to be a good day for the beginning of my African journeys.
Made my way down to the familiar resort territory and glanced at the mess that had been left from the night before, the day before, and most likely the day before that. Didn't feel the slightest inclination to tidy up, as i would have done, every other morning before. Had a quick chat with Dave about how late breakfast was this morning and again, no urge to go into the kitchen and sort out the status, none whatsoever. Grabbed a bottle of water to soothe that irritating headache, and went to sit at the water's edge to watch the tide and the sun and the beginning of the day one last time. It was as beautiful as it was the day I arrived or maybe a little more so as I felt like I was looking at it as an outsider, on my way out. A very peaceful, liberating feeling. That sounds so sad.
I've been thinking a lot over the last few days of how disappointed I am in myself, that I've allowed the politics and the bitterness of the owners here overshadow what could have been a much richer experience. I got so sucked into the nastiness of it all that I became part of the nasty. I was negative, angry, hostile, and focused on escape, blinded to the experiences that I could have been having. Not the ideal I was hoping for. I've decided to write a farewell email to the owner, not friendly but hopefully being the bigger man, simply thanking them for the opportunity and stating that I choose not to have my lasting memories of this place be of conflict around money. Word has it that he is already slagging me off to whomever is in earshot but as I sat and watched the waves that one last time, I realized that for once, I really don't care what someone else thinks of me. I will find peace with all of this, I will accept it for the experience it has been, and I will look forward to this new part of my journey, a little bit wiser and hopefuly in a much more positive state of mind. It's exhausting being angry and offended all the time. Exhausting.
I carefully and purposefully avoided goodbyes to almost every single staff member. I don't do goodbyes at the best of times and this would have just been too complicated. I wrote each one of them a little note that Mac will pass on and I will close the door on this chapter. I have closed the door. I will miss Mac and I will worry about him, but he's got his own life and he will live by his choices. I managed to help hook him up with a very cute girl who arrived to do some diving so for now, he is a very happy boy. It's pretty cute and I'm smug as a bug to have played a role in the matchmaking. Life goes on...
Of course our dear sweet taxi driver who I asked to pick me up at 8am didn't arrive until after 9am. We barrelled out of the resort at 9:15am to try to cover the hour and 15 minute trip in record time as my flight was at 10:30am. We slowed down just enough for our Swahili business man to throw himself in the truck as we flew through town... he had my passport with my visa extension. I ran to the toilet as they checked in my bags (there is no screening process here) and they shoved me through a door telling me the plane was leaving. Not even a chance to say goodbye. My phone read 10:28am as an impatient but lethargic looking darling told me I was late as she made gestures to allude to searching my carry on then ushered me through. I walked beside the trolley that was taking my bags to the plane, hopped up, and we were off. A quick stop in Zanzibar, bags put on a new little plane, and arrival in Dar just after noon. The airport was dead quiet and I was ready for the taxis. No customers put the ball in my court!
As I staggered under the weight of an overstuffed backpack, out of practice and out of shape, they descended. Pointing to a very official looking but completely fraudulant board, they demanded $25USD to take me the 20 mins I knew it would take me to get to my hotel. I was not going to lose this game. Smiled and shook my head, told them I was a resident, that I had been back and forth to that hotel several times, shot down all of their illogical reasons for the fee, and within 5 mins, I got them to the 15,000Tsh (almost half!) that I knew was the right price and we were on our way. But I'm not easily fooled - Africa is going to be WAY tougher than SE Asia... WAY!
I have since settled into my room, wandered desperately in several different attempts to find an ATM that would work with my card, took a much needed and extremely comfortable nap, made plans and sorted directions for the chores I need to get done tomorrow, filled my belly with some yummy food, am writing to all of you, because I love you all and need to keep in touch, will find some chocolate, and then soon retire to my room as the darkness is far too scary in this part of the world. Not tired but I know this area is noisy so uninterrupted sleep will not be an option. Better to just hunker down and rest for what I know will be a draining day tomorrow as I attempt to negotiate city streets via local transport. Sucker for punishment every step of the way.
So off I go. I hope future entries will be of an entirely different nature than they have been so far and I expect that there are many more tests to come. Stay tuned my friends, and wish me luck... xoxo
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