Merry Christmas to everyone! If you're all experiencing a bit of withdrawal after faithfully tracking Santa on his journey across the globe, feel free to carry on with the tracking fever and follow me as I trace Santa's footsteps. Nowhere near as generous or joyfully welcomed as the jolly old guy, I'm sure, but hey, I bet he won't have the stories of disaster and drama that seem to endlessly entertain. So here to provide that bit of entertainment, is the trouble I've already gotten into, even though I'm only in CHICAGO!
As I stumbled and stuttered around the house this morning, gathering the way too many way too heavy bags that I packed, dumped out on the kitchen floor, and packed several more times last night, I was good to go and on time. Feeling pretty tired but as organized as I was going to get, my mom, dad, sister and I headed out for Halifax international airport. A quaint little airport that is closed as often as it is open due to Maritime weather but for the most part, employees at the airport generally tend to have that East coast friendliness that starts your trip off with a smile. Apparently working Christmas Day did not bring out that East coast friendliness in the airport employees today.
Waiting in line after trying several times to do the self-check in, print your own boarding pass, we were sniped at twice by this lovely United airlines hag who insisted that yes, it can be done. Knowing that I was flying internationally and only connecting in the US, we decided to ignore her and her self-righteousness and carry on. She was one of the two very special gifts who were scheduled to work checking in passengers on this lovely Christmas morn. The other sweetheart was white-haired with a pile of yellowing curled hair pieces pinned up on her somewhat scowling head. We listened as they berated a sweet old lady about one thing or another and this sweet old lady proved them wrong as she knew exactly what she was doing and it was THEY who made the mistakes. No apologies from Santa's little helpers, nor when we proved them wrong by needing them to print off my boarding pass. sigh. smile and cheer, Merry Christmas hags! Whatever. $50 later, two bags checked in, we hung around in the iconic company of Tim Hortons and waited out the time.
I bid my family farewell, cleared customs, and plopped my butt at my gate with the clock reading 11:57am. We were due to start boarding at 11:59am and fly at 12:19pm. The same two lovely senior elves were the boarding guards. They waited until I sat down, then one of these silver tongued snotbags paged "passenger Beaton". So up and I went with a smile on my face... Are you going to Chicago?... I sure am... sigh, eye rolls and nasty snarls between the two Christmas angels thrown out of heaven ... everybody is already on the plane!... oh, sorry, my pass said we haven't even started boarding yet... more sighs and eye rolls... everyone is waiting on you, you better get on the plane... okay (cheesy big smile) I'll go right away. Thanks so much! ugh. see ya later wrinkly alligators!!! Oh how I wanted to stick out my tongue at them.
Don't go yet... I got in trouble one more time...
Sitting on the mostly empty plane, the flight attendants were encouraging people to spread out if they wanted. I had my row to myself so I was good. Just before we took off, the phlegm filled creature behind me started to cough. And not just cough, but hack and snort and dredge up any remaining tissue that may have been left in their lungs. I felt my hair being blown and caressed by this unbelievably disgusting germ container. Dude... COME ON! H1N1 is on every single form of media on the planet, COVER YOUR FREAKING MOUTH!!!! So this carried on and I was just getting more and more and MORE sicked out by the second. We stopped to de-ice and I knew I had to make a break for it. I grabbed my bag, scoped out a seat a couple of rows ahead, and bolted.
The second my ass left the seat, I heard the wider than the airplane aisle flight attendant start yelling,"Ma'am! Ma'am! MA'AM!!!" I dodged into my seat and slunk down feeling the burn of staring eyes and hearing the tsk tsks of my fellow sardines. Then the too large to close her mouth flight attendant picked up the P.A. system and publically scolded me. "Passengers! Just because we are stopped for de-icing does NOT mean that you can get out of your seats!! The seat belt sign is on! Sit down, fasten your seatbelts and STAY IN YOUR SEATS!!!" I thought I was going to die. But when faced with the choice of dying from embarassment or nasty, nasty germ creature, I opted for embarassment. sigh. Not a good start to the trip.
Off we went and two and a half hours later I'm in Chicago. Four and a half hours to wait and I am LOVING my new mini laptop, being the uber geeky chick typing away in the empty waiting area. All Asian boys are very envious of my new toy - I see them checking it out. Not checking ME out, checking my LAPTOP out. But hey, I'm okay with that. It IS a pretty cool new toy. So a couple of more hours to wait then I'm on the overnight to London. Will arrive there, attempt to gather my excess of baggage and crash at my hotel for the following 24 hours. I have a feeling I'll have a few more stories to share by then if today's start was any hint as to how this trip is going to go.
I have to get sign out for now as all of the electrical outlets in the airport seem to be occupied and my battery is almost dead. Hope everyone is having the Merriest of Christmas and eating lots of turkey for me. My sis and brother in law are taking care of the drinking part. Talk to everyone soon! xo
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